Hi Bruins fans, and welcome back! Fall break is over now, which means we’re back to posting blogs, and I am bringing you what I think might be my favorite article of them all. Today, we will be rating the NHL 27 headshots.
I am so excited.
Given that you’re viewing a Boston Bruins blog, I’m going to assume that you know what NHL 27 is, but just in case, NHL 27 is the annually released hockey simulation video game by EA Sports. NHL 27 will be the 36th iteration of the game.
NHL 27 went viral during the release process solely for the headshots that were posted. Many fans pointed out the way that players did not look the way they should, especially for stars who could be considered faces of the National Hockey League. I’ve taken inspiration from these posts and have decided to review and rate each headshot.
Thank you to Reddit user u/manilovekaprizov in the r/hockey subreddit for compiling some of these images.
First, we have Kirill Kaprizov from the Minnesota Wild.
I mean… it’s not great, but it could be worse. We’ll see worse later. Still, that’s not Kirill Kaprizov. The messed up the hair, the eyebrows, the face shape… not much is right when you really look at it. 4/10.
Next, we have Edmonton Oilers captain Connor McDavid.
You know what? It’s actually not bad. They got the hair and the beard pretty well. The face overall isn’t bad, either — although the brow bone is quite strong — but the eyes. Those eyes are not right. They made him look cross-eyed. 8/10.
Okay. Prepare yourselves for the next one.
What did they do to my captain?
That is not David Pastrnak. I don’t even have words for this one. 1/10, with a redeeming point for the mustache. I cannot, and moreover will not, elaborate further.
On the other hand, New Jersey Devils captain Nico Hischier’s head scan is… fine. The hair definitely could use some improvement, but honestly, given what we’ve seen so far and what we will see later, 9/10.
Next.
Okay. Well.
Sharks captain Macklin Celebrini certainly got the better of the two from him and Will Smith’s. We’ll get to Smith’s soon, but honestly, Celebrini’s isn’t bad. He does look like he’s been sobbing, for some reason, and his eyes are oddly glazed over, but my non-hockey knowing best friend could tell who it was right away. To me, that gives it a solid 9/10.
Smith, however…
Oh, where to begin with Will Smith?
I have a lot of thoughts about this headshot. The hair is wrong, which is the most obvious. It’s like they took a straightener to his hair beforehand. His eyes are also eerily glazed over and sad looking, and he just looks heartbroken. Sorry, man. 3/10.
Dallas Stars winger Jason Robertson got an alright headshot. Truthfully, if this was for Robertson a few seasons ago, I could absolutely see it. For current Robertson, though, everything is just slightly off. Once again, the guy looks absolutely heartbroken, which was only amplified when I put him next to his smiley, real life headshot. He just… I don’t know. Something isn’t right here. The eyebrows are good. The hair is not. Neither is… anything else, actually. 4/10.
The Reddit user compiled more in their post, but I would like to just highlight the ones that are either absolutely awful or exceptionally good at this point.
Carolina Hurricanes alternate captain Sebastian Aho got pretty lucky with his. I don’t think this is a great screenshot, but other angles have certainly made it look better. They got his hairline perfect, which I think is really interesting, because they were absolutely not doing that for most of the other players. The beard is a little off, and the brow bone is, again, slightly unsettlingly significant, but we’ve seen worse. 9/10.
Okay, so. Uh.
Cole Caufield, what did they do to you?
They honestly kind of nailed the hair. Truly, if you put every piece separately, they all match his actual face; his nose is good, the face shape is fine, everything is fine. It’s just… that expression. I really do think the expression is what kills it. The rest of it had such good potential, but they really chose a bad still. I’m so sorry, Cole. 4/10.
That is not Jack Hughes. Full stop.
I’m not quite sure who that is, but I know it is not Jack Hughes.
The hair is messed up once again, and I truly think that this may be the worst hair that NHL 27 has debuted so far. He looks mad, but also like he’s smelled something bad? It’s just… really bad. I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even tell who that is. 1/10.
I can’t get over this, guys. Why does everyone look so sad? This is like a Jason Robertson 2.0. All of the joy and smiles Evgeni Malkin shows in his headshot was just sucked away when they put him into NHL 27. It’s odd, because I certainly can tell that that’s Malkin, but not like, “Oh, that’s Geno!” It’s more of a, “Oh… that’s… that’s Geno?”
6/10, and I’m being generous.
You know what? Yeah! I like this one! I think they really did their best with Penguins captain Sidney Crosby, and honestly, how could they not? It’s Sidney Crosby. I don’t think they could’ve done anything else.
I think this is the best one. I really do. I don’t have any complaints, aside from that strong brow bone again. What is it with the brow bone?
10/10.
On the other hand…
I’d like to see the reference image for this scan, because surely it was not his headshot. Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin was not given the same grace that his long-time rival was.
I have a lot of thoughts. We’ll start with the hair color; they made the man go entirely gray. He’s still got some brown in there, and they just fully aged him by a couple years.
The hair itself is, uh… something! Ovechkin used to have hair similar to this, but that was a while ago now. I’m not quite sure where they got that from for this year’s headshot. I think my friend Ash (X user @ashergdq) really summed it up well.
The face is pretty bad too. It’s kind of like Malkin’s picture, where I can tell it’s supposed to be Ovechkin, but not really in the same way. With Malkin, I can tell it’s him because the face is close enough for me to see it. With Ovechkin, I’m using context clues, like the Capitals jersey with the C. Genuinely, I don’t know if I could tell you who that is if I didn’t already know.
1/10.
For our last good one, I chose Quinn Hughes. It’s pretty good, all things considered. I knew it was Hughes from the start, and it’s definitely better than his brother’s. The hair is still a little messed up, but they got his face perfectly. The attention to detail on Hughes is interesting when you consider the others, because they even got his mole, but they completely missed literally everything about the next guy we’re going to talk about. Honestly, I’m giving this one a 10/10. I think it’s perfect.
Okay. I think it’s time.
Are you guys ready?
Oh, Mason Lohrei. What happened here?
They got his hair color right. That’s really, truly, all the good I can say. The face shape is bad. The expression is terrifying, to say the least. They didn’t even get the shape of his hair right.
The nose is fine, I guess, but Jesus.
This is one where I can’t even use context clues to decide who that is. If I had not been explicitly told, “Hey, by the way, that’s supposed to be Mason Lohrei,” I genuinely would have never guessed.
0/10. Hell, -6/10. Awful. I’m so sorry, Mason.
Many people were astounded, to say the least, when the headshots were released. One of my favorite hockey content creators, HockeyGuyJordan, posted a video reacting to some of them that you can find here.
I think Jordan sums it up pretty well, honestly. The nonstop laughter is really a good representation of just how I feel about these head scans. Obviously, they’re not that important. In the grand scheme of things, the game being a functioning, fun to play video game is far more important than the way the player scans look. Still, it’s absolutely crazy to me that a game made by a multi-billion dollar franchise for another multi-billion dollar franchise could not have a little bit more development put into the creation of their game.
Next week’s blog post will be a fun one! We’ll be talking about the “pest” stereotype that the Bruins have held for many generations now.
Weekly Recap
Bruins @ Jets – 10/02
> Final score: 4-3 W
Bruins @ Wild – 10/03
> Final score: 4-1 L
Senators @ Bruins – 10/05
> Final score: 4-1 L
Mammoth @ Bruins – 10/08
> Final score: 6-1 W
Flyers @ Bruins – 10/10
> Final score: 5-1 W
Bruins @ Sharks – 10/13
> Final score: 6-3 W
*I watched this game while finishing this blog post, and… oh my god. This was easily in my top three NHL games I’ve ever watched. Absolutely crazy game.
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